But an idea and seven fifty will get you a quality latte, you know? 

Pretty much every story I’ve written comes to me as a movie trailer in some way. This happens quite a lot. Every time this happens to me, it’s spontaneous and exciting. I want to write down everything. I want to get it all down. And then I want to expand on the idea until I’ve got a trilogy and a movie deal. I met writers in University who began trilogies all the time. I don’t think any of them were ever finished. 

Write down your idea. Does it fill a page? Did it make sense to the person you love and trust? Pitch your idea to yourself, to your wife or husband or roommate. Do they think it’s good? Good. That’s a good start. 

Take your idea and write down everything you can think of. Don’t worry about it making sense. It’ll make sense later. You can’t get it right. You can’t even hope to get it passable. It’s just an idea. An idea isn’t a book yet. It isn’t even a story. It’s just an idea. It’s nothing until you begin to put the pieces together. 

And build from the ground up. There’s an old cliché about writing that it’s like building a house. Well, writing a novel is like building a house. You don’t have to worry about a novel yet. You can start thinking about a novel when you have a 100 pages down and the story isn’t finished. At this point, you don’t even have a scene. You can outline at this point, but outlines are procrastination traps; you’re not really writing, are you? 

There’s a metaphor I really like when it comes to book writing: LP, EP, 45. Music people know what these are: they’re the length of the three different kinds of records. A “45” is a single. It’s three or four minutes on both sides, containing an “A” and “B” side (that’s how the term B-side came to be, people who have never seen a record). A 45 is not a bad place to start. You’ve got an idea, make a single. Make a really short story. Do your best with your idea to craft a simple, executable short story. Because your novel isn’t going to work if it isn’t going to work as a good short story first. 

Once you’ve got your single, write your EP. Those are the records with 5 or 6 songs on them. It’s usually a third of the record and a handful of extra songs. It’s a good metaphor because a lot of what will be in these first, shorter versions, you’re probably going to leave out of the novel. 

The really big plus side of this is that just about anybody will read your story if it’s 10 pages. And most of those people will be excited to see how you’ve expanded it to 30. And those same people will be just as excited to see it expanded to a full book. Family and friends are generally really supportive about writing, often to the point where you can’t trust them for honest criticism (but that’s another hunk of advice). 

Okay, so you’ve written your idea (your great, awesome, incredible idea) out as a really short story and a slightly longer short story. Do you still like your idea? Do you still think it has the legs to go 300 pages? Not every idea is going to be a great novel, and some ideas reach their peak at the short story stage. And that’s okay. Hey, you’ve written a short story. That’s awesome. A short story is a great business card in the writing world. No serious writer doesn’t have a few. 

But if you’ve written a 45 and an EP and you’re still hungry to get that novel out, bloody well run for it. Your idea’s passed the test. I’m 100% more confident about anybody’s idea if it can survive two smaller revisions, some time, and a little support from others. It’s hungry to live. You’re hungry to give birth to the damn thing. Don’t let anything stop you.

This Joy of Tech comic explains this process (while also making a point about ad blocking unrelated to my point). 

The Joy of Tech is a fantastic comic strip. The people who make it are really, really good at distracting you. They're what I like to call professional distractions: they make their living distracting you from your real work. 

Most of the profitable companies online are professional distractions. 

Web comics are a great example of this. Movies, music, and other old-school, traditional media isn't so much. You generally listen to music while working, and you generally set aside time to watch television or movies. That's not work time, that's play time, and play time is incredibly important to staying focused (all work and no play makes Jack some kind of bore, after all). But web comics generally aren't viewed during play hours; they're mostly viewed 9-5, monday to friday, when you're supposed to be working. You take a quick, five-minute break to check out a page you like. It's not much time, but it is distracting you. It's like going out for a smoke. 

Much like cheesecake, professional distractions are okay in tiny increments, but they can quickly add up to diabetes (well, metaphorically). Ever lost 6 hours to browsing the web? You're no longer a writer at this point; you're a consumer of distractions. You're the professional now, and your job is viewing websites that have nothing to do with your work.

And while there are a few jobs where you can make money doing this, they are likely all taken by people who are doing this more often and better than you. Keep professional distractions as the five-minute distraction once-or-twice a day they are meant to be. Cut the fat, too. You don't need a full newspaper-sized page of webcomics a day (sorry I'm really focusing on comics. I do mean any small consumable media that updates on a regular basis). Be a good curator of your professional distractions. You'll thank yourself for it the day you realize your Google Reader feed no longer sprouts that "1000+" tag. 

I do really like that this thing was built for rugged—if completely different—work. That’s what writing is supposed to be, right? Hard work.

Gredunza Press just moved. In the move, we lost an entire room, where our office used to be. So our two desks became one. But we had this leftover cutting board/wine rack thing from IKEA and so I decided to copy Merlin's strategy. I would try working standing up, on a desk that isn't a desk but gets the job done. Fantastically, it has a serious effect on how my brain works while working.

You know how the worst thing you can do when trying to be productive is to be wearing your houserobe while the TV is on, right? Well, this is just a scaled version of that advice. It's more difficult on my wrists, and there's a small crink in my neck. There's a little bit of fiddling to be done with height and eyelines, but you know what? My back doesn't hurt anymore. More importantly, my eyes aren't getting tired. More importantly than that, I don't feel like checking twitter or Google Reader. Because I'm standing, because I'm working, I don't feel like slacking off. Position is everything.

This is, of course, completely relative. Standing while writing won't work for everyone. In fact, I would wager there are just as many people who can finish entire novels sitting laid back on the couch while music blares and they have four kids playing around them. The point is, there are lots of different ways to do this. Sit, stand. Work at a desk, work on your lap, work off a tape recorder. Write on legal paper, write on Google Docs, write on walls with spray paint. This may sound like wishy-washy advice, but it's very important. You don't need the perfect ideal setup to write a novel: you need the setup that will get the novel written. It's very possible that you will be uncomfortable the entire time.

Personally, I think I'm the type who isn't allowed to be comfortable. The second I become accustomed to a situation, my brain wanders. So I have to keep changing things up. Work in the office, work at home, work at Starbucks. Work upside down, work while cooking, work while drinking. This standing-up desk won't last forever. I doubt it'll last more than a few weeks. I'll become complacent. But that's okay. That's how I work. You're probably going to work completely differently. It's important to be able to adapt, to work with what's working for the book. In short, make it easy to make it work.  

The truth is that the vast, vast majority of Canadian (and, arguably, worldwide) authors never make enough money writing to justify quitting a day job. I certainly don't. I couldn't even pay for all the coffee I drink in a year with what I make selling books. The reason I used "cupcakes" as an example is, well, how many cupcakes do you have in a year? I think I have about 10. Maybe that makes me a glutton, I don't know, but what I make in books would barely cover cupcake costs. But that's okay, because since I got into this business of writing I've accepted the reverse-passion philosophy of emotional passion VS financial reimbursement. 

I'm really terrible at creative graphs, but the basic idea is that the more emotional passion you put into a project, the less financial gain you're likely to receive. Inversely, the less emotional passion you use, the higher your chances of making lots of money. Now, in many cases this isn't true. Passionate bankers will often make lots of money doing what they love. Passionate construction workers will definitely bring home the bacon. But artists, and writers especially have an incredibly hard time doing that.

So we do other things. I don't know a single writer who doesn't have multiple jobs. Many of us work in publishing, where we edit or typeset or proofread or ship books back and forth cities in giant trucks. That's great. Many more of us work entirely non-related jobs, where we really aren't fuelled by emotional drive but by the desire to get home and spend the evening with our true loves: writing, our families, and our other hobbies that help us procrastinate from writing. That's okay. It's all okay. There is no wrong way to be a writer. Well, you could stop writing. But then you're just not a writer. And that's okay too. The world isn't going to stop turning just because you didn't finish your opus, just because you decided to get on with your life. 

It can be disparaging to think that no matter how hard you work at your craft you might never reach the promised land of getting to do this for a living. For me, I got over it by thinking like how I've described: my writing brings home the cupcake money, and I'm fine with that. I love what I do. That's all that matters to me. I think the faster we all become satisfied with what our writing brings us, the faster we'll all become happier members of society. 

Also, stop fretting about the book industry. It's fine. 

Flexible pricing appears to be what the future of ebooks holds. That's fine. We've had flexible pricing in real books, and outside of Amazon, flexible pricing appears to have been how things have always been. ebooks.com's pricing has always been flexible, the Sony ebook store has always been flexible, and Kobobooks follows suit as well. And while Amazon is appearing to sell the most ebooks, that has more to do with the "instant buy" button on the device than anything else. It is, truly, Kindle's killer app. But that button is not going to get pressed any less often with slightly more expensive books, because it's going to be supplemented with cheaper books, too. For instance, Twilight, the entity keeping the entire book industry afloat in 2009, is priced at a pretty damn cheap $4.79 at Kobobooks right now. Shutter Island, the next big Dicaprio/Scorsese movie, has its ebook priced at a thrifty $7.59 over at Sony.

The lesson to be learned? Shop around. Find two or three ebook stores and compare prices. Treat them like real stores. Do the thing nobody did with MP3s. Utilize multiple points of purchase. One of these days, Amazon will convert all their books to epub and become just another place to buy ebooks, and that'll be great.  Think about it like one giant mall. 

*Image by Hark A Vagrant

Say you've never read a book before. I know, impossible. But just picture yourself as someone who has somehow gone through life never having read a book. And then, somehow, you want to begin. Maybe all your friends have finally convinced you that volunteer illiteracy is craziness, I don't know. Anyways, you want to dive in hard and read a crap ton of books. Well, if it were any other time period, the answer would be stupid simple: go to a bookstore and buy a book. Well, thanks to the internet and some major media conglomerates, this is no longer a simple question. So, new reader, what do you do? Well, you follow this guide. That's what. Follow the answers to these questions and you will be on your way to a fruitful life of literacy. 

How many books do you want to read? 

One. I just want to read one book.: Just go buy the book. 

The entire Harry Potter, Twilight, and Star Wars collections: Buy a Sony Pocket Reader, as you will recoup the cost of the $200 reader as soon as you've purchased your 20th $9.99 book, and you'll have them all with you in a tiny package. You also won't be burdened with the physical copies when the fad is no longer acceptable.

Every book published in the 20th and every other century: If you don't mind swapping them in and out of your collections, the Sony Pocket or any sub-$250 reader will do. If you want them all at once, go with a reader with expandable memory and lots of readable formats (epub, mobipocket, LRF, etc) because some books are only available in some stores. You will also have to buy some physical books, as not every published book has been digitized yet. 

Why are you even suggesting ereaders? I already have an iPhone

Well, hey, that's great. You have an iPhone. Or you have a Blackberry. Or a laptop. Or you've pre-ordered an iPad because Apple said they do books now. Swell. The problem tech companies and many people don't realize is that there is a huge difference between passive and active reading, and that while it may be somewhat sane to sit for 8 hours a day and work on a computer, it's something else entirely to read large amounts of text for large amounts of time. Ask any editor: their (and your) eyes suffer for it. Ereaders don't emit any light, and the good ones don't reflect light either (this counts out any reader with a touch screen, since the extra layer is reflective and produces glare) so you're not staring into a tiny sun. This isn't just me talking, either. Studies show that "1 out of 6 patients requiring eye examinations have a computer-related eye problem." The options for reading shouldn't be Lit-screen device VS ereaders VS books. It should be a combination of ereaders and books. 

Books take forever to get through. Can't I just watch the movie when it comes out? 

There's a lot of debate about that, actually. Sure, it might take a while to get through War and Peace, but the average book is 300 pages. An hour of reading before bed kills one of those every week, if you're slow. The advantages of passive reading, as opposed to only reading short passages online, are paramount. Increased imagination is only one thing. The more people read, the more educated their opinions of the world become. They more they're able to communicate. And even though books are probably the slowest form of learning the news, they are the most effective way of deeply informing the populace on serious issues that take time to understand. 

Books can be boring. But you know what? Don't read those books. Don't finish them. Put them on the shelf. Go get another book. You're never going to run out of books. Read the stuff that makes you want to read the next page. Don't listen to anyone regarding the quality, either. Are harlequin romances the only thing that gets you to pick up paper? Read those. Da Vinci code? Read that. Whatever it takes, read it. Even if everyone thinks it's a bad book, if you like it, read it. Reading, unlike playing video games, driving cars, or eating, is always going to be good for you. The idea is that once you get into the habit of it, you will become addicted. Books are one of the few things in this world you should be addicted to. 

Why would I want to join a book club? And how would I go about doing it?

Book clubs can be awesome (this press began as a book club, and Éisee and I met at a book club). They can also be boring. Here are two basic things to remember in maintaining the quality of a book club:

1) Digressions will happen and are important

2) Alcohol is wonderful. 

Okay, that second one only pertains to the adults in the audience, and even then only to a point. I've been to a few book clubs where people definitely needed to be separated due to having one too many. But that's a rare exception. Have the book club in a bar, or a cafe that has a license. Or, have it at home. Anywhere. Just make sure it's cozy. Keep the topic on the book only so long as people seem to care, then socialize your heart out. You will learn things about the book you didn't think while reading it (and which might make you want to reread it). Oh, one other piece of advice: it's not a book report. It's okay if you didn't pick up on a piece of subtext. 

In terms of finding book clubs, try Facebook or Twitter, or go to your local bar or café and ask the owners if there's a club running. If you can't find anywhere, try asking on craigslist in the community section. If all else fails, you might have to make your own. I'll have advice on that in a different blog.

Okay, I'm going broke from buying books. Thanks a lot, book pusher. 

Books, pound for pound, are an incredibly cheap medium. Twenty bucks buys you a week's worth of entertainment. You're not going to get that deal with anything else. Still, it can definitely pile up. Here are two fairly obvious tips:

1) Trade with your friends, or with people online. There's absolutely no law says you can't re-sell your books or swap them for others. And even if there were, who's going to enforce it?

2) See that run-down building over there with the daycare? That's a library. There's thousands of free books in there. Go to it. Give it a hug. 

***

All of this seems pretty obvious to dedicated readers, but none of this advice is for you. It's for the majority of people who read less than a book a year. It's for the people who can't seem to find the time to get a new hobby, even though they blow through hours and hours playing crappy flash games on Facebook. You know who you are.

Competency in publishing from K Sawyer Paul on Vimeo.

Oh, right, Apple's Tablet thing is coming out next week. 

the last time major publisher Random House published from the slushpile was in 1991. Many publishers do not even look at un-agented unsolicited manuscripts anymore due to legal concerns or tight funds in today’s economy.

The thing to learn from this? Get an agent. That's the new step.